Lovechild
by Cpt.Tina
Summary: Gibbs, who still hasn't back his memory fully, says something in confusion. McGee says something else in jest. Together they set a chain reaction in motion... KIBBS & TATE implied


Story: Gibbs, who still hasn't back his memory fully, says something in confusion. McGee says something else in jest. Together they set a chain reaction in motion...  
Disclaimer: CBS, Paramount and Belisarius Productions  
Spoiler: NCIS - "Singled Out" mostly. Also includes references to "Twilight", "Kill Ari 1+2", "Hiatus 1+2" and "Shalom".  
Author's note: The episode was really cool, if only for that ONE comment. (Un)fortunately it made me think of someone special...

**Lovechild**  
**Tina**

The last months, hell, the whole last year hadn't been easy for any of them.  
Kate's death had been the first real interference with the team dynamic and from then on it had gone downhill. As intelligent and capable as Ziva was, she still hadn't been able to replace the deceased Secret Service agent. Not just because she was Ari's half-sister or a Mossad agent, but because of her violent energy and aggressive tactics which rivalled those of Gibbs. Or at least, those of Gibbs' basic instincts. More than once the boss had to stop _her_ from shooting first, when he himself secretly had wanted to solve the situation that way too...  
Tony was sure it hadn't been only obvious to him: Kate had had a calming effect. Not only on Gibbs but on the whole team. She had been tough, but still sympathetic. Strong, but still weak. And amazingly caring. - She had stood her ground against each one of them, reminding them more than once not to become hard and stop feeling. She had had faith. Faith that not yet all people were bad. And that, even though she worked to catch 'bad guys' every day.

So yeah, things had been tough and that was the reason why Tony couldn't be really mad with Gibbs. Mad because of him only leaving, but more so mad because of him coming back to help Ziva. He simply couldn't help but wonder if his boss would have so readily flown all the way back to redeem _him_... He wasn't able to picture that scenario, not matter how hard he tried, and therefore pushed the thought aside whenever it threatened to emerge. Well, not that that had been hard to do with him knee-deep into the teamleader job. But then Gibbs had - oh so harshly - claimed back not only his desk but also the leadership of 'his' team and things had started to spin even more out of control...

Part of Tony had been thrilled to have his boss back, of course. The other part though had been absolutely angry about the casual way the older man had thought he could just pick up where he'd left off. And he _had_ made sure Gibbs knew, although he hadn't quite felt the need to push it as far as Ducky, with his rather icy behavior. And then suddenly, with one little word, everything had changed again. Gibbs - still not fully free of the amnesia - had accidentally called Ziva "Kate" and nothing was like before anymore.  
Priorities had changed for Tony in an instant and the offering of a team of his own had suddenly sounded less important. He had known he was definitely ready, but that it wasn't his time yet. No matter if others could see it or not, but he was needed in his old team. Even if only to be the troublemaker for a little while longer and enjoy the easier hours...

So that was, why he was still sitting in the office at 8 p.m. on a Friday evening. Alone in the dark, except for Gibbs working at his computer in silence. Tony had tried to play everything cool, but truth to be told, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Kate since that moment. And he also hadn't been able to forget the look of pain in Gibbs' eyes when the man had realized his mis-adressing.  
All that was probably why Gibbs hadn't shown much reaction to Abby's Gibblet comment or to the whole MorphPro experiments. Hell, he hadn't even slapped him because of the dating remark for gods sake!  
The experiments. Well, he'd rather not think of his and Ziva's "lovechild", as McGee had so lovingly called his little creation. Because then he would lose the courage to do what he wanted to do, and he knew he'd regret that. So he quickly focused back on his computer screen. The empty MorphPro user interface illuminated his features for a moment, before he opened first Kate's and then his picture into it.

Just like all forced photographs for workfiles the shots weren't particularly good, but still he found himself helplessly staring at her strawberry lips and hazel eyes. He was suddenly all too aware that she was gone and that it somehow felt wrong to 'use' her picture like that. But as usual his curiosity won, he pressed 'Enter' and watched the red dots work their magic on analyzing both their facial features. Then he used the time to risk a peek over at Gibbs who sat sadly at his desk, staring off into space.  
"Boss?" he questioned tentatively.  
No answer.  
"Boss?" he asked again, sauntering over to stand in front of the older mans desk. "What 'ya doing?"  
Gibbs abruptly got shocked out of his reverie and to Tony's great wonder he actually looked like a kid caught with the hand in the cookie jar. Hastily he pressed some keys - presumably to clear the screen from the private stuff - but they seemed to have been the wrong ones. Instead of disappearing the 'inappropriate' content actually got displayed on the office screen!  
Tony unbelievingly turned to it, staring, unable to speak and unable to think. He stared at Gibbs and Kate and one of the cutest children he'd ever seen! A MorphPro generated gorgeous baby daughter that transformed in a matter of seconds into a shining young lady and then a stunning woman.  
Somewhen during his Senior Agents' staring Gibbs found the key and plunged the bullpen back into it's former empty semi-darkness.  
"No need to..." Tony started, fighting the lump in his throat.  
"Don't." Gibbs interrupted him rather harshly. "You should know better than to lie to me."  
"Panic. I wanted to say 'No need to panic.'" Tony explained unbidden.  
"That's a lie." Gibbs grumbled, relentlessly calling him on it.  
Tony choked, both because of the accusation that hurt and the rejection he could hear in his mentors voice.  
"Well, if that's what you think." he replied bitterly, turning away to fetch his things and leave.  
"Your eyes, DiNozzo." he heard Gibbs all but whisper. "Your eyes. It hurt you. I hurt you."  
He obviously wasn't only talking about the accusation or the MorphPro picture...  
Tony sighed and turned back to him. "It still hurts and probably will forever." he admitted quietly. "But using the image didn't hurt anyone. At least I think it didn't, unless it disappointed her, wherever she is now..."  
Silence reigned for a moment and Tony was close to turning around again when Gibbs spoke up once more.  
"Why?" he simply asked.  
In that moment he wasn't the man who usually pursued suspects and solved crimes. Hell, he wasn't even the man who could calm down women, even though he always denied he could. Right then Gibbs was the vulnerable, unsure, 'nice' man he'd been on that fateful day Ari had decided to destroy him once and for all.  
"Why what?" Tony couldn't help but ask.  
"Why aren't you mad at me?" his boss questioned, temper flaring. "Tell me. You of all people! Why not?" He paused to take in a heated breath. "I didn't protect her, I didn't revenge her and now I continue using her even though she's dead and I'm the last one who has any right to!!!"  
He was yelling by then, anger seeping from his very being. Tony though was seemingly unfazed by the older mans rage. He didn't duck, he didn't even look guilty.  
"That's not true and you know it, Jethro." he said, overemphasizing his boss' name like he usually did it with Ziva's. "She looked up to you, trusted you even. Kate would have and DID lay down her life for you. - There never was a doubt as to where he loyalty laid."  
Soft and yet clear. Sure of himself. Tony was in charge of the situation - or so he thought...  
"I didn't question her loyalty!" Gibbs spat, eyes burning.  
He had gotten up from his chair, staring his younger colleague in the eyes.

Well, Tony had intended to make a point, but it had gotten wrong. He knew better than to try and repair a damage that hadn't been really done. Because Gibbs knew how he'd meant it and was only being stubborn deliberately. He was doing everything to avoid admitting his feelings. Tony knew, because he himself was quite good at that.  
So he simply turned without another word and went back to his desk, taking a first look at Kate's and his 'lovechild'. - Another beautiful kid that would never be born, never have a chance to grow up. And also his one serious and sadly lost chance to prove himself as a father.  
But then, he was still young. He still had hope...  
With that in mind he hit 'print' and grabbed his pen, eagerly putting two lines down besides the printed pictures, before grabbing his stuff. On the way out he let the paper fall on Gibbs' desk...  
"_I loved her._" it read.  
"_You still do_."

**-End-**

Reviews are more than welcome.  
I'm interested in what you think about my stuff... :-)


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